Night Report @ the Rooftop

sagacity from a night out, volume 1

I'm sitting alone in the rooftop bar before it becomes packed. I can see all the city before me and its beautiful. And right now it all feels empty. I'm wondering why I'm here — and I know if I was home I'd be wondering why I'm not out. Or, why can’t a feeling last forever?

There are groups of people huddled around tables and I'm remembering how I've never experienced that before. A group in which to naturally belong on a Thursday night. A community made up of equally invested moving parts. A separate organism, an ecosystem of egos. Whenever I'm in a group I am in the center because I've organized it. And where is everyone that comes to my big parties, now? Some I push away, some I can't seem to reach. The world is too big and too small all at once. Does everyone outside know how minuscule they are from this distance?